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23 Apr 2004 ; 01:53pm mood : bored In reply to a whole lot of comments: I'm sorry, I'm not giving this journal up. I intend to keep it, mostly for the memories it holds of me being an idiot child and partly because I might return to it one day.

06 May 2002 ; 06:32pm mood : crotch I had the most amazing time yesterday. Let's have a run-down, shall we? OneDice - "Hello, we're a four man Slipknot and we like watching the crowd attempt to kill one another!" Pants, my friends. Jello Biafra - What can I say? It was awesome, as expected. Alec Empire - Absolutely amazing live. Alec jumped around like a man possessed, climbed into the audience, scaled the tent supports, threw his mic stand around, stood on the barriers and leaned into the crowd ensuring a lot of groping. It was just great to watch and, as I mentioned before, I had crotch to face action. The security seemed to be getting quite pissed off about his crowd surfing antics, I got freaked out when he jumped in with the mic cord wrapped around his neck. Strangle much? Generally, it was fantastic. Sick Of It All - Once again, wonderful as expected. They were really energetic, running around the stage. Sounded spot on. Pitchshifter - The lead singer is a crazy llama man! Every two minutes, he'd spit in a really aggressive way. The stage must've been soaking. They sounded excellent, Mr Clayden kept giving various members of the crowd his special manic grin. I was at the front again, getting crushed against the barrier. Bruises are fun! 35 : static

05 May 2002 ; 11:29pm mood : aroused Today I've had the pleasure of having Alec Empire's leather-clad crotch in my face. Also, I had someone's phone number [unsure who] given to me by someone who had been thrown it by Pitchshifter. More will be written tomorrow. 5 : static

05 May 2002 ; 12:04pm mood : excited Essential Festival, here I come. static

04 May 2002 ; 06:32pm mood : emergency! h I'm really hyperactive and excited right now. Work was actually not so bad and now I have Sunday and Monday with no work or college to worry about. Wooooooo. 5 : static

04 May 2002 ; 11:49am mood : iloveyouall HEY CHELSEA, I'M LISTENING TO MICHAEL JACKSON! :(:(:(:( 3 : static

04 May 2002 ; 11:13am mood : fine I can't find my work trousers.. Oh dear. I need to.. Fuck, I stop writing this for a second and, BANG, my train of thought leaves the station. I don't want to go to work but.. I can't wait til tomorrow. Alec Empire, Pitcshifter, Jello Biafra, tons of other bands.. And you're all jealous. I can smell it. 11 : static

03 May 2002 ; 06:12pm mood : adore Keith is asleep next to me, making funny little snuffly noises. So fucking cute. 3 : static

02 May 2002 ; 06:29pm mood : sooooore Today equals; - Panic attack, leading to walk out from mock exam - Crying in the hallways - Argument with mother - Buying clothing - Being buried by a ton of english work - Getting the blame for Marcus' bad behaviour >:o - Constant nagging not to swear so much - Amazingly painful cramps 3 : static

02 May 2002 ; 07:53am mood : goingtobelateforcollege How fucking cool, man. I didn't realise Marcus' new band was actually well known. People; go and check out 'The Narcissus Pool'. My friend is the keyboard player. 3 : static

01 May 2002 ; 10:21pm mood : * I feel famous. 2 : static

30 Apr 2002 ; 11:11pm mood : moved I miss my NIN videos.. I miss my mp3s. I hate this computer; I'm in a lose-lose situation with it. Staring at the sea Will she come? Is there hope for me After all is said and done? Anything at any price All of this for you All the spoils of a wasted life All of this for you All the world has closed her eyes Tired faith, all worn and thin For all we could have done And all that could have been Ocean pulls me close And whispers in my ear The destiny I've chose All becoming clear The currents have their say The time is drawing near Washes me away Makes me disappear 4 : static

30 Apr 2002 ; 10:04pm mood : um Fuck you, emote.org. Fuck you, bad weather. Fuck you, annoying mother. Fuck you, hurting tounge. Fuck you, sexual tension. Fuck you, mountain of college work. Fuck you, revision schedule. 1 : static

I'm telling you.. 29 Apr 2002 ; 07:31pm mood : amused... by myself I read something I posted about this time last year and for some reason it amused me. How sad. MATT, DO YOU REMEMBER THIS? And the tree. It becomes. What I knew it would be. The tree. Is no longer standing. Alone. For now. I eat my sandwich. From the plate. That could have. Would have. Should have. Been a tree still. Oh. The pain. The pain I feel for the tree. No longer standing. But dutifully holding. My sandwich. Oh. I see my eyes. In the tree. I am the tree. I am no longer standing. I hold society's sandwich. I hold society's sandwich. 1 : static

Nothing like you used to be.. 29 Apr 2002 ; 06:51pm mood : excited I can't wait til Sunday. There's a big music festival on in Bristol. I mean, something good on locally? Unheard of! I'm seeing Pitchshifter, Alec Empire, Jello Biafra, Capdown, Onedice, etc, etc. Nicely done. I've actually been writing again recently. Scary. I get the impression From your blank expression Easier to keep pretending You don't care anymore And the scars on my face And the heart you displaced I can't help feeling You don't care anymore 5 : static

28 Apr 2002 ; 06:07pm mood : nervous Everytime I'm walking back from the bus stop and I pass this group of kids, they throw stones at me and hurl abuse. One of them came in to my shop and I refused to serve him. I have every right to do that. Now, it seems I've made things worse for myself. I went outside for a smoke and got stones thrown at me and then they stood around outside the shop just staring at me. I just didn't want to stand there and take it anymore, you know? I've had enough of letting people act like assholes to me just because of the way I choose to look. And on a nicer note, thankyou to everyone who wished me and Keith a happy anniversary. Much appreciated<3 11 : static

If you go, I'll go with you.. 28 Apr 2002 ; 11:34am mood : goshjesus! Why do I love this song? I bought this CD about five years ago and I still like it. 1 : static

28 Apr 2002 ; 09:53am mood : :} It's mine and Keith's three month anniversary. And I sure love conversation. When I actually get some that is. 5 : static

27 Apr 2002 ; 11:05pm mood : aggravated Firstly; If you don't want to talk to me, just fucking say. Dick. Secondly; I spent the evening at Keith's. It was fun. I actually managed to get some english work done. Thirdly; My assistant manager caught a group of boys, about 12-13yrs old, looking at the porn in the magazines section of the shop. They went so red. Also, when I was outside on a break, I got asked by of about 11 [She didn't realise I worked there] if I'd buy her cigarettes. What the fuck is wrong with the world? 1 : static

27 Apr 2002 ; 06:08pm mood : sore I'm hating this bad weather today. Whenever it's cold and rainy, my joints are even more stiff than usual. Seventeen and I feel about ninety-eight. Work sucked large testicles. And I miss dirty_mutt, revival and cifer more than ever. Jesus. 8 : static

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